21st July is the 35th Anniversary of the U.K. Broadcast of "Relationships". Here's a recap from Television of Yore Website.
Miss Sherwood is on the hunt for a datable man and has registered with a video dating service. She's sitting on a stage, nervously staring into a camera as she tells prospective mates about herself.
Doris is observing Ms. Grant's dance class from the perspective of a drama major, and her assignment is to critique the acting component of a Romeo and Juliet ballet performance. Her verdict: BO-RING. Bruno concurs and points out that Romeo and Juliet has been soooo overdone, and that there's nothing left about the play that could possibly be ground-breaking. Doris agrees and suggests that the tired old Shakespearean theme could use some pepping up. Ms. Grant mulls that over, then tells them to get busy thinking of a new concept.
After class, Bruno grumbles to Doris that he's too busy to come up with a twist for Romeo and Juliet, and says the story about the ill-fated lovers has been revived with every type of music there is. Leroy struts by at that moment and remarks that it's never been revived with country and western music (NOOOOO!!), and then it's off to honky-tonk we go..
Doris, Bruno, and Leroy check out a country and western bar filled with cowboys and cowgals in frilly western garb, linking arms with one another as they do-si-do. LOL. There's a hot guy on stage - hey, it's BJ and the Bear heartthrob Greg Evigan! - who's playing a banjo while wearing a plaid shirt that's unbuttoned to his navel. He notices Doris' arrival and winks at her, and Doris is all, "Wha-a?" 'cause, yeah...as fucking if Greg Evigan's head would be turned by Doris. Greg Evigan polls the audience to see who the first-timers in the bar are...and when the three Fame kids raise their hands, he promises to take their requests during his next set. Bruno, meanwhile, likes the cut of the hostess' jib and ambles over to talk to her...while Leroy heads over to the jukebox and chats it up with some random woman. Greg Evigan joins Doris at her table, his matted, sweaty chest hair in full view, and asks her whassup. She tells him that she and her friends dropped by the bar 'cause they're working on a project for school...and he jokingly asks her if she attends Redneck Tech. She solemnly assures him they're not here to make fun of anyone, so then he invites her for a spin on the dance floor so he can teach her some basic square dancing steps.
Doris is observing Ms. Grant's dance class from the perspective of a drama major, and her assignment is to critique the acting component of a Romeo and Juliet ballet performance. Her verdict: BO-RING. Bruno concurs and points out that Romeo and Juliet has been soooo overdone, and that there's nothing left about the play that could possibly be ground-breaking. Doris agrees and suggests that the tired old Shakespearean theme could use some pepping up. Ms. Grant mulls that over, then tells them to get busy thinking of a new concept.
After class, Bruno grumbles to Doris that he's too busy to come up with a twist for Romeo and Juliet, and says the story about the ill-fated lovers has been revived with every type of music there is. Leroy struts by at that moment and remarks that it's never been revived with country and western music (NOOOOO!!), and then it's off to honky-tonk we go..
Doris, Bruno, and Leroy check out a country and western bar filled with cowboys and cowgals in frilly western garb, linking arms with one another as they do-si-do. LOL. There's a hot guy on stage - hey, it's BJ and the Bear heartthrob Greg Evigan! - who's playing a banjo while wearing a plaid shirt that's unbuttoned to his navel. He notices Doris' arrival and winks at her, and Doris is all, "Wha-a?" 'cause, yeah...as fucking if Greg Evigan's head would be turned by Doris. Greg Evigan polls the audience to see who the first-timers in the bar are...and when the three Fame kids raise their hands, he promises to take their requests during his next set. Bruno, meanwhile, likes the cut of the hostess' jib and ambles over to talk to her...while Leroy heads over to the jukebox and chats it up with some random woman. Greg Evigan joins Doris at her table, his matted, sweaty chest hair in full view, and asks her whassup. She tells him that she and her friends dropped by the bar 'cause they're working on a project for school...and he jokingly asks her if she attends Redneck Tech. She solemnly assures him they're not here to make fun of anyone, so then he invites her for a spin on the dance floor so he can teach her some basic square dancing steps.
Miss Sherwood gets a call from the video dating service, letting her know that a man who watched her video would like to pursue a possible love match. They pass along the man's name and number, in case she's interested in following up.
Doris is gazing dreamily at Greg Evigan while he performs with his banjo on stage, and Bruno attempts to flirt with the hostess, whose name we eventually learn is Nancy. He tells her she looks familiar, so she explains that she once did a soap commercial and subsequently became known as "the beauty bar girl". Bruno starts nattering about what a failure he usually is with the ladies, then looks hopeful and remarks that her eyes aren't glazing over the way women's eyes are normally glazed over whenever he engages in his inept brand of flirting. Against all odds, Nancy too is smitten and slips Bruno her phone number. She then says, "I'm thirty. Is that going to be a problem?" and Bruno assures her it's not...'cause even though he's playing a teenager who attends a performing arts high school, he's pretty close to being thirty himself.
In English class the next day, Miss Sherwood is discussing the nuances of Romeo and Juliet and asks the class if they can identify some of the obstacles that the ill-fated lovers had to overcome.
Doris is gazing dreamily at Greg Evigan while he performs with his banjo on stage, and Bruno attempts to flirt with the hostess, whose name we eventually learn is Nancy. He tells her she looks familiar, so she explains that she once did a soap commercial and subsequently became known as "the beauty bar girl". Bruno starts nattering about what a failure he usually is with the ladies, then looks hopeful and remarks that her eyes aren't glazing over the way women's eyes are normally glazed over whenever he engages in his inept brand of flirting. Against all odds, Nancy too is smitten and slips Bruno her phone number. She then says, "I'm thirty. Is that going to be a problem?" and Bruno assures her it's not...'cause even though he's playing a teenager who attends a performing arts high school, he's pretty close to being thirty himself.
In English class the next day, Miss Sherwood is discussing the nuances of Romeo and Juliet and asks the class if they can identify some of the obstacles that the ill-fated lovers had to overcome.
- Doris says they were from different places and didn't know much about each other when they hooked up (not unlike a native New Yorker who has just met a hillbilly banjo player)
- Bruno thinks there's too much of an age gap (give it up, Bruno - you and Nancy look like you were born the same year)
- Miss Sherwood suggests it's very awkward to meet a brand new person (like when a lonely English teacher bites the bullet and signs up for a video dating service, and is nervous about going on her first date in years)
Miss Sherwood's date, an uptight looking nerd, arrives at her apartment clutching a bouquet of red flowers. He introduces himself as Dennis Mitchell, then wryly says he's heard all the Dennis the Menace jokes he can handle. He comes clean and tells her he's not an engineer (as he claimed on his video), but rather a "high tech custodian", which I'll translate to mean janitor. He asks Miss Sherwood if she enjoys doing old fashioned, corny things...and when she visibly perks up at the mention of old fashioned and corny, he happily says, "This might just work out!"
That night, Bruno is hanging at the honky-tonk bar, chatting it up with Nancy. They make plans to get together on Saturday...and when she gets busy at the front door, Bruno lets her get back to work and ambles over to where Doris is glumly playing a video game. Doris tells Bruno she brought Julie along to see if Greg Evigan is really, actually, positively interested in her, then motions across the room...and from where they're sitting, it looks like Greg Evigan and Julie, who are jamming together, look like they might really be into each other.
Miss Sherwood arrives at the school the next morning looking very chipper. She tells Ms. Grant her date was "classic"...and when Ms. Grant asks for the deets, Miss Sherwood dreamily recalls that she and Dennis went for a hansom cab ride, then down to the Village for some brandy and jazz.
Julie grabs Doris, who's mopily ambling down the hall, and drags her into a nearby closet. She barks about how pissed she is about being used and lied to, and snarls, "If you have doubts about a guy you like, figure it out!" She spells out to Doris that she did not appreciate being a temptation to test out a guy's honest feelings, especially when the guy, bewildering as it seems, spent the entire evening talking about how much he adores Doris. Doris perks up at that tidbit, then admits that her behavior was deplorable. She raises her chin and bravely says, "Go ahead and hit me" and Julie looks like she's seriously considering the possibility. [Doooooooo it!!!] She clenches her fist in preparation and tells Doris she used to be a tomboy and therefore has no compunction about giving her a much needed punch in the face...but then reconsiders 'cause she doesn't want to risk hurting her cello hand. Fair 'nuff.
Miss Sherwood arrives at the school the next morning looking very chipper. She tells Ms. Grant her date was "classic"...and when Ms. Grant asks for the deets, Miss Sherwood dreamily recalls that she and Dennis went for a hansom cab ride, then down to the Village for some brandy and jazz.
Julie grabs Doris, who's mopily ambling down the hall, and drags her into a nearby closet. She barks about how pissed she is about being used and lied to, and snarls, "If you have doubts about a guy you like, figure it out!" She spells out to Doris that she did not appreciate being a temptation to test out a guy's honest feelings, especially when the guy, bewildering as it seems, spent the entire evening talking about how much he adores Doris. Doris perks up at that tidbit, then admits that her behavior was deplorable. She raises her chin and bravely says, "Go ahead and hit me" and Julie looks like she's seriously considering the possibility. [Doooooooo it!!!] She clenches her fist in preparation and tells Doris she used to be a tomboy and therefore has no compunction about giving her a much needed punch in the face...but then reconsiders 'cause she doesn't want to risk hurting her cello hand. Fair 'nuff.
Bruno brings Nancy to his basement dungeon to show off his synthesizers. She comes right out and tells him she likes him, and that it's no big deal he's "younger" 'cause he's more mature than a lot of middle aged men. Bruno grumps about how inadequate he feels, being interested in an older woman...and feels kinda like he has a crush on his teacher. Nancy assures him she's not trying to seduce him, then wonders if maybe this whole thing is a bad idea. (Considering Bruno's chronic state of glumness, probably.) Bruno changes the subject and offers to make her some lunch, and the two head upstairs.
Doris and Greg Evigan are hanging in the honky-tonk bar, playing a video game. He confirms that, hard as it may be for viewers to comprehend, he and Julie spent the entire evening talking about her...and Doris looks perplexed (as well she should) and flattered. He says he's been to a lot of places and met a lot of people, and can therefore tell she's "very real". Doris moves around the table to sit next to him, puts an arm around him and stares at him intensely as she asks, "Do we have a relationship?" and Greg Evigan just kind of shrugs and replies, "We're working on one." Doris proposes they form a pact to always be there for each other no matter where they are in the world. It seems a bit soon for pacts when you've only known the guy for three days - but whatever...he'll be dead soon [oops: spoiler].
Doris and Greg Evigan are hanging in the honky-tonk bar, playing a video game. He confirms that, hard as it may be for viewers to comprehend, he and Julie spent the entire evening talking about her...and Doris looks perplexed (as well she should) and flattered. He says he's been to a lot of places and met a lot of people, and can therefore tell she's "very real". Doris moves around the table to sit next to him, puts an arm around him and stares at him intensely as she asks, "Do we have a relationship?" and Greg Evigan just kind of shrugs and replies, "We're working on one." Doris proposes they form a pact to always be there for each other no matter where they are in the world. It seems a bit soon for pacts when you've only known the guy for three days - but whatever...he'll be dead soon [oops: spoiler].
Bruno and Nancy are back in his dungeon basement, playing music and humming - and fortunately it doesn't escalate into a full-blown song that describes Bruno's angst about dating a "much older" woman. Nancy frowns and reminds Bruno that his pop will be home soon and doubts he'll approve of her. She says she doesn't think they have a future, and that they shouldn't waste another second playing on his synthesizer when they could be in his bedroom getting it on...then takes his hand and leads him up the stairs. Mmm hmm..
Miss Sherwood is laying on her couch with her head in Dennis' lap. She tells him she's daydreaming about the beach...and then the two concur about how much they enjoy spending time together, and indulge in a smooch.
Greg Evigan, whose shirt is once again unbuttoned to showcase his chest hair, is on stage at the honky-tonk bar, serenading Doris...and she dreamily closes her eyes and starts singing along. Miss Sherwood, meanwhile, takes Dennis' hand and steers him toward her bedroom. Mmm hmm..
Miss Sherwood is laying on her couch with her head in Dennis' lap. She tells him she's daydreaming about the beach...and then the two concur about how much they enjoy spending time together, and indulge in a smooch.
Greg Evigan, whose shirt is once again unbuttoned to showcase his chest hair, is on stage at the honky-tonk bar, serenading Doris...and she dreamily closes her eyes and starts singing along. Miss Sherwood, meanwhile, takes Dennis' hand and steers him toward her bedroom. Mmm hmm..
At school the next day, the Fame kids boogy in the cafeteria, country and western style. Doris pulls Miss Sherwood aside and starts nattering at her about how she just met a hot new guy and doesn't want to fuck it up...and that Julie advised her to play hard to get, but she's not sure that's the best approach. She then mulls over the blather that just came out of her mouth and decides she's going to play it honest and just tell Greg Evigan how she feels. Miss Sherwood concurs and says she shouldn't put up obstacles, and that there's no right answer 'cause romance can be "wonderful but terrible, and delightful but painful". Doris thanks her for helping clear everything up in her muddled brain, then scampers off just as Nancy enters the building. After she wanders around aimlessly for a few seconds, Miss Sherwood stares at her quizzically and asks her if she needs help. Nancy nods and says, "I'm looking for someone" - and, oddly, it's not her faux May-December conquest, Bruno.
Ms. Grant wants to see what her students have prepared as a result of all the honky-tonk groovin' they've immersed themselves in lately. Bruno sits at the piano and starts playing a hillbilly tune, while another student accompanies him on the fiddle. The dancers perform their take on Romeo and Juliet - "Roy and Julie" - with a high energy, pelvic thrusting square dance...and it goes on for what seems like an interminably looooong time. Nancy enters the cafeteria and makes a beeline over to Doris, and breaks the sad news to her about Greg Evigan: he was killed last night when some hooligan tried to steal his guitar. Doris is all, "Oooooh nooooo! The only man on earth who would ever give me a second glance is dead!" and freaks out amid the square dancing going on around her.
That night, Doris is sitting in her bed, writing to her diary about her very special friend who died. She bemoans all the people who won't ever get to hear Greg Evigan's music or see his smile, and tearfully writes about the cowboy who died because he refused to hand over his guitar. When she's done writing her entry, she climbs under the covers and cuddles her stuffed animal while silently weeping.
Ms. Grant wants to see what her students have prepared as a result of all the honky-tonk groovin' they've immersed themselves in lately. Bruno sits at the piano and starts playing a hillbilly tune, while another student accompanies him on the fiddle. The dancers perform their take on Romeo and Juliet - "Roy and Julie" - with a high energy, pelvic thrusting square dance...and it goes on for what seems like an interminably looooong time. Nancy enters the cafeteria and makes a beeline over to Doris, and breaks the sad news to her about Greg Evigan: he was killed last night when some hooligan tried to steal his guitar. Doris is all, "Oooooh nooooo! The only man on earth who would ever give me a second glance is dead!" and freaks out amid the square dancing going on around her.
That night, Doris is sitting in her bed, writing to her diary about her very special friend who died. She bemoans all the people who won't ever get to hear Greg Evigan's music or see his smile, and tearfully writes about the cowboy who died because he refused to hand over his guitar. When she's done writing her entry, she climbs under the covers and cuddles her stuffed animal while silently weeping.
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