Your Own Song - U.K. 35th Anniversary Television of Yore Review

25th April is the 35th Anniversary of the U.K. broadcast of  "Your Own Song"  - a witty recap of the episode from TV of Yore Website

A nervous looking Jimmy Osmond sporting a grisly '80s pageboy 'do arrives at the School of the Arts, accompanied by his equally as nervous looking mother. She offers to go into the office with him, but he assures her he's a big boy now and can handle it himself. She looks reluctant to leave him alone, but when he insists he doesn't need her coddling him every second of his life, she gives him a good luck kiss on the cheek and leaves. Coco and Leroy are in the dance gym, rehearsing for an audition for the upcoming International Festival for the Musical Arts. Jimmy Osmond stares at them in fascination through the little window on the door. Leroy arrogantly declares to Coco that they're the two best dancers in the school, but she warns him against getting too swelled a head. She desperately wants to land the role of lead singer for the festival and sassily declares, "It better be me." Leroy notices Jimmy Osmond peeping at them through the window and asks what he thinks of their gyrating. He says, "Beautiful.." then tells them he's lost and needs to find someone named Mr. Shorofsky. They give him directions just as Bruno bursts into the room, strides over to the piano, and starts playing. A couple of seconds later, Coco breaks into song...which was a tad jarring 'cause I did not expect to have to endure a full-on performance so early in the episode. Mrs. Berg is in the office, gabbling to the faculty about a boy who's scheduled for a special audition at 11am...then looks over his application and remarks on his terrible penmanship. LOL. Miss Sherwood hears her mention the boy's name, then asks to see the application. When Mrs. Berg hands it to her, she looks it over and then stares into space concernedly. Mr. Reardon is making his drama class do a weird looking exercise: they're sitting cross-legged on the floor in two neat rows, staring at the person sitting across from them and mimicking each other's movements. Danny is partnered with a cute girl named Diana...and he leers at her and asks her out. She scrunches her face in distaste and shakes her head, which is totes understandable 'cause...well, it's Danny. Bruno encounters Jimmy Osmond sitting on the stairs and asks him if he has any change [for the phone]. Jimmy tells him, "I have two quarters, two dimes, and three nickels. And I have to keep them all." Bruno's like, "Er...OK" and asks him whaddup with him loitering at the School of the Arts, so Jimmy tells him he has an audition at 11am. Bruno asks him what his specialty is, and he holds up a small stack of music sheets...and Bruno grabs at them and exclaims, "Music! That's my thing!" Jimmy informs him, "I sing and play the guitar sometimes" and Bruno tells him he likes to broodily sit in his basement dungeon every night and compose craptastic music on his synthesizer. Miss Sherwood calls up Jimmy Osmond's mother to ask her if her idiot savant son really actually truly applied to the School of the Arts. When the mother confirms that he did, Miss Sherwood says she doesn't quite know what to think 'bout that. I'm not sure why she felt the need to call Jimmy's mother and tell her that. Bruno shows Jimmy where the cafeteria is, then gives him some helpful tips on auditioning for Mr. Shorofsky. He says, "Break a leg!" and a confused Jimmy goes, "Why would I do that? I don't want to hurt myself." Bruno gives him a funny look and explains that it's just an expression for good luck. He then says, "Maybe we'll get together later and jam" and Jimmy looks confused again and asks, "You mean with the peanut butter?" Bruno, who refuses to get a clue, shakes his head and is like, "Whatever" and lumbers off to class. Everyone is gyrating, twirling, and singing in the cafeteria, and Jimmy Osmond looks bewildered as he clutches his tray and looks for a place to sit. Why is he staying for lunch? I thought he was just at the school for an audition. Doris joins the rest of the Fame kids at their table and mocks Danny for flirting with Diana during the weird drama class exercise. Danny retorts, "What do you know?" and Doris offers to enlighten him on how to treat Diana like a lady. Bruno catches sight of Jimmy looking lost and confused and invites him to eat with them...and Danny makes a crack about how funny Jimmy looks while trying to cut his food 'cause Danny is a rude, ill-bred assfuck. Over in the teacher's lounge, Ms. Grant tells her colleagues that they need to make a decision about casting the lead singer for the International Festival for the Musical Arts. She thinks Coco has it all sewn up, but Mr. Shorofsky says, "Not necessarily" and tells them about a fresh-faced young lad who auditioned earlier and "sings like a dream". He wants to admit him to the School of the Arts, like pronto - but Miss Sherwood scrunches her face in concern and asks him if he noticed anything peculiar about the lad. Mr. Shorofsky just shrugs and says, "He's shy" so Miss Sherwood asks if he questioned him about his background. Mr. Shorofsky says he did, but Jimmy evaded answering by breaking out into song. (So what? Coco did the exact same thing when she auditioned for a Broadway show in the Passing Grade episode.) Miss Sherwood says that Jimmy was probably afraid he wouldn't be admitted to this prestigious institution if people knew he attended a school for special kids. Mr. Shorofsky asks her what she means by special, so she wryly replies, "In a less enlightened age, the term was retarded" and her colleagues all gasp in shock.  Doris asks Danny if he gave Diana the mushy love letter she wrote, and he smugly says he did. They run into Diana at her locker, and she smiles at Danny and says, "You're good, Danny. You're very good." Doris jabs Danny, so he schmaltzily replies, "Your loveliness inspired me, and gave me a smile in my heart." He and Diana then ride off together in the sunset, and Doris grins proudly and gushes to no one in particular, "I'm a hit!" Mr. Shorofsky chastises his music class for stinking it up on the last exam - and then introduces Jimmy Osmond, calls him "a fine singer", and urges them to listen to him perform some time. Coco chirps, "How about now?" and Mr. Shorofsky's like, "Sure, why not?" and asks Jimmy if he wouldn't mind showcasing his superb vocalist abilities. Jimmy's game and asks Bruno to play Penny Lane on the piano, then starts belting out the tune without a shred of self-consciousness. Everyone looks impressed and bobs their heads to the beat - except Coco, who looks pissed off now that she has some real competition for the title of Best Singer in School. When Jimmy finishes his song, everyone applauds and rushes up to him...and he's all, "Ack!!", wigs out, and flees the room. Mr. Shorofsky explains that he must have gotten overwhelmed and then rushes out after him. He finds Jimmy in the hall, wringing his hands and muttering, "Mother was right..." Mr. Shorofsky's all, "Wuh?" and steers Jimmy into a nearby closet so they can speak privately. Jimmy confesses that he attends a school for "different" kids like him and now thinks it was a bad idea to audition at the School of the Arts. Mr. Shorofsky argues that he was very brave to do it, and that he has great respect for his courage. He informs him that they're gearing up for an important festival next month and would like him to represent the school as the lead singer. He asks, "Would you stay?" and Jimmy ponders that possibility while staring mutely into space. The faculty is annoyed at Mr. Shorofsky for handing Jimmy the role of lead singer in the festival and cancelling the auditions, and Ms. Grant warns him that the students are going to be very irked. Mr. Reardon wants Jimmy to enrol in his drama class in order to help build his confidence, but Miss Sherwood worries that that could tear him apart. Mr. Shorofsky concedes that he may be guilty of an error in judgement, but he still stands by his decision. Bruno runs into Jimmy in the hall and asks him why he never sees him in any of the non-performance classes like English or chemistry, so Jimmy tells him he has private tutors. Coco storms over, shoots Jimmy the stink-eye and snarls, "For a supposedly shy person, you have some moves." Jimmy's like, "Excuse me?" and she snaps, "I don't think I will." Bruno asks her whassup with her bitchitude, so she informs him that auditions have been cancelled 'cause Jimmy's been handed the role of lead singer. Jimmy starts twitching and explains, "I didn't ask anyone to do that" but Coco continues to glare at him and barks, "They already made their choice." Jimmy gets upset and takes off down the hall, while Coco bitches to Bruno about how unfair it is, and that she's too much of a self-absorbed diva to not unleash her frustration on the hapless Jimmy. Bruno shoots her a disapproving glare and sarcastically asks, "Feel better?" In drama class, Doris is performing a scene with Jimmy...and he's awkward and terrible. When Doris takes a dramatic pause during the scene, Jimmy feeds her the next line, and she snaps, "I know the line! I was just acting. Take it easy." A shame-faced Jimmy mumbles, "Sorry.." and starts twitching nervously. Mr. Reardon suggests that they do a different scene, and Jimmy looks anxious as he leafs through the script and cries, "I'm lost!" Doris tries to help him, but he backs away and cringes. Leroy mumbles to Coco, "He's strange" and Coco bitchily remarks, "Maybe he should sing the part" and bitchily adds, "You know, he didn't have to audition." Jimmy, who looks like he's officially reached the end of his tether, wails, "I can't find it! I can't do it!" and throws the script onto the floor. A concerned looking Bruno rushes over to him and tries to calm him by assuring him that everything's OK, but Jimmy continues to twitch and look very upset. Later, Bruno finds Jimmy crouched near a stairwell, looking miserable. Bruno asks him whassup and tells him he's supposed to be in music class. Jimmy says he can't go, and that he doesn't belong at this school, but Bruno disagrees and insists that he has a lot of talent. Jimmy tells him he already has a place to sing - at the school he attends for the educationally handicapped. He says he isn't good enough to attend school with kids who are "perfect and normal" and laments how he'll never be like them. He gets up and heads for the exit, and when Bruno tries to stop him, he snaps, "Leave me alone!" Danny tracks down Doris, who's in the library frantically studying for a test. He tells her he needs her to come up with some more romantic material to pass along to Diana, but Doris says she doesn't have time, and that it's time for "the little birdie to leave the nest" and deal with his own life problems himself. Bruno drops by Jimmy Osmond's school, which looks more like a fun rec center than a school. Jimmy's in one of his classes, telling his classmates all about the School of the Arts, and how bitchy and self-absorbed the kids all were - except for a guy with Chia Pet hair named Bruno. One of the students asks him to sing them a song, and when he agrees, another student limps across the room to retrieve his guitar. Bruno, meanwhile, is ambling down the hall looking for Jimmy...and a few seconds later he hears him singing and heads in the direction of his voice. Bruno stands in the doorway of the classroom as Jimmy enthusiastically croons and his classmates happily clap along. Bruno smiles at the endearing sight and quietly leaves. ​Diana bitches at Danny for standing her up, and then accuses him of having another girl on the side...but Danny insists he had no idea he stood her up. She orders him to say something sweet to her...and he struggles to think of something vaguely suitable and comes up with: "Your hair smells like a million grains of sand" and then: "I'm hot for you. And you're hot for me." Diana stares at him in incredulity and blurts out, "Hot?!" then snarks, "I thought you were different and special! But you're not special at all!" - no duh - and storms off. Danny angrily bellows, "Doris!" and sprints down the hall. Ms. Grant's dance class is performing a vigorous looking routine, but Coco's dancing isn't up to snuff 'cause Ms. Grant keeps barking at her to "work it". After the bell, Leroy tells Coco that Jimmy's parents took him out of school - which means the auditions for the festival are back on. Coco, however, doesn't seem pleased by the news and stares contemplatively into space. Danny finds Doris hanging out in the drama classroom. He blames her for losing Diana, but Doris says he shouldn't have expected her to help him keep that relationship going indefinitely and points out that Diana obviously liked someone who wasn't the real him. Well, d'yuh. It's Danny. Coco visits Jimmy at his school, and her presence makes him anxiously wring his hands. Coco tells him they all really miss him, including her. He gives her a seriously? look and wails, "You hurt meeeee!" Coco sheepishly apologizes for her cunty behavior and says she'd like to make it up to him. Jimmy says he belongs at his own school - but Coco says he should try to aspire for more, and then challenges him to audition for the festival. She says if he wins the audition, it'll be 'cause of his "heart and voice", and she can handle that. (How gracious of you.) Jimmy wails, "You don't understannnnnd!" and Coco insists she does, and says that she too gets scared and twitchy whenever she's about to perform in front of a crowd. Jimmy quietly mulls that over...and Coco tip-toes out of the room. Danny finds Diana in the library and confesses that all the mushy lines he used on her were written by Doris. He says he really does have real feelings for her, but that it's clear she couldn't give a hoot about him. He dejectedly heads toward the exit...and Diana looks as though she may want to chase after him, but doesn't. Coco tells Mr. Shorofsky that she begged Jimmy Osmond to come back to school and audition for the festival. She's puzzled at herself for going out of her way to look out for a person she considers competition, and Mr. Shorofsky credits her for being a mensch. She's like, "What's a mensch?" and he grins at her and explains, "You're growing up, cookie!" Jimmy Osmond is on stage, looking very nervous as he's about to perform at the festival...or the audition for the festival. It's kind of unclear. Bruno gives him a reassuring nod and says, "You belong here", and Jimmy starts singing in his fantastic Osmond voice. A few seconds later, Coco joins him for a duo! Danny, meanwhile, is watching the spectacle with Diana sitting next to him, and the two look cozy. I guess she came around and decided to give the moron a shot. When the performance comes to a merciful end, Jimmy and Coco get a standing ovation.