"If I Only Had A ?" comes from the season 2 episode "Not In Kansas Anymore" and is performed by Valerie Landsburg, Gene Anthony Ray, Lee Curreri and Carlo Imperato.
"I could while away the hours
Conferring with the flowers,
consulting with the rain,
and my head I'd be scratching,
while my thoughts were busy hatching
If I only had a Brain.
When a man's an empty kettle,
he should be on his metal,
and yet I'm torn apart.
Just because I'm presuming,
that I could be kind of human,
If I only had a heart.
I'm afraid there's no denying,
I'm just a dandelion,
a fate I don't deserve.
But i could show my prowess,
be a lion not a mouse,
If I only had the nerve.
Oh I'd be in my stride,
A king down to the core.
I could think of things I've never thunk before,
then I'd sit and think some more.
Just to register emotion,
jealousy, devotion,
and really feel the part.
I'd be brave as a blizzard,
I'd be gentle as a lizzard,
I'd be clever as a gizzard
If the wizard is a wizard,
who will serve.
Then I'm sure to get,
a brain,
a heart,
a show,
da nerve."
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